Anxiety is not my portion

Spent hours trying to fix my Texas drivers license situation. So many things go wrong with Texas. I also feel the fear from the home owner and my family there – all talking about warnings and death. I don’t want to live in that. I heard a woman years ago say if it brings you anxiety it’s not your calling. You’re out of alignment. Maybe or maybe not. But I can’t fix this stuff.

God you rescued me before. Please do it again and in completion this time. I see myself doing with my son what I did with his Dad. Rewarding the bad behavior, letting guilt and shame pull me down into a pit where I die so they can use me. The lazyness and not wanting to work and to put all their burdens on me. Help me to say no and give me something beautiful to celebrate in new love.

I have to accept that if your will is to do something with my son that I don’t like, he’s your kid, before my kid. I don’t know his path and what you are doing with him. I ask you to heal him and I ask you to make him a strong man but I am so tired Lord. I have tried everything for years and years so please help me to lay this down and be done with it.

I surrender my son to you Lord. I surrender my son to you Lord. I ask you to break me free of these chains of guilt and shame and to cause him to go his own way and rise up as a man should rise up not leaning on his mother as his source and his punching bag.

Help me to let this go and show me how to carry forward in what you want to do with me and my life. Help me to see the pathway of freedom and love. Help me to learn the lessons I learned with Kenna and to step away and let you do a mighty work and help me to stop thinking about this and worrying.

Thank you for Glenn, Lord let Josh get help from Glenn to learn how to book his flight and get to the airport. Please release me from this completely today.

I don’t want to be their savior lord, I need saving. I need your healing. I need your love. I need your provisions. I need your help out of this and into better days. Please save me and release me and give me hope and a future God.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.