Angry at the Enabler

When someone helps you and they desire to control you, rather than teach you life skills and cause you to be independent and make decisions on your own, they are harming you in a major way. More often then not our desire to protect, provide and shield someone is the very evil that seems good on the outside but ends up being a crutch. A dog that grows up in the wild is a wolf that finds its pack and learns to survive and thrive. A dog that’s taken into domestication doesn’t ever learn how to find food or protect itself and therefore if discarded later has very little life skills.

The best gift my mother could give me is to let me go. She wants to tell me how to dress, how to work, what to do and how to be acceptable to her but she’s not feeding me, clothing me or putting a roof over my head.

As options right now, I have the discussion with Majestic next Monday and I just sent an email back to Jay with the luxury tech company who offered a percentage in the company plus commission. I’ve requested his offer/deal and I hope to receive it soon so that I can review.

Either way, I’m on my own and that’s the clarity I’ve needed for quite some time just to be removed from the confusion. There is no support system. There is no Mommy-dearest situation that’s ever going to solidify. My family doesn’t believe in being there for one another and I’m not going to change that. She is who she is. I am to recognize that God gave me this path to find sovereignty (again) and to find stability in Him alone. Likewise I recognize that he’s growing my children up to be strong also. And it’s hard to watch them struggle but it’s also the greatest gift I could give them as none of us know how long we have here and as parents we’re meant to prepare our children to be strong without mommy and daddy to hold their hand in adulthood.

So to review my options…..

I have job in Houston, potential media company opportunity here, a place that may open up in December for me in Marina Del Ray if I stay and for now I have a job that pays me enough to survive as long as I can stay healthy and keep flying. I want more and I’m looking for opportunities and asking God to send them. I feel stuck and have felt stuck for a long time waiting on others to be supportive but for some reason God wants all these voices silent while I alone am charged with choosing my path forward. I have to live with the decisions I make. I want collaboration but I don’t want to be controlled. I want to be excited and I want to prosper and if this is my promised land I need the Lord to shine a bright light on the opportunity I’m to embark upon and help me to be calm, collected and patient in the process.

I’m going to meditate now and ask God to show me the doors and lead me to see the future decisions….

I’m repeatedly led back to the Unscripted Script. So I’ll update it today.