Jesus is Lord to me means Jesus is above all things – on the throne of my heart. His placement doesn’t mean I can’t have all the gifts my heart desires. It means that if anything tops him in my heart, the abundance of all else will not satisfy me. He is above all things and when he’s the first thing, then everything else multiplies through him.

Waiting in Limbo

I feel like I’m in limbo right now waiting on others to make choices so that I can make mine. My son is trying to get his license and job situation on Monday. That’s tomorrow. I feel like I need to put a deadline on what transpires next and maybe the best way to go about it is simply to make a choice for now, rather than for tomorrow’s what if’s that may never happen.

If he doesn’t come, I’d rather get a studio or one bedroom so that I’m not paying unnecessary rent. I guess I could always get out of that or transfer to a 2 bedroom if needed. I’m sure there’s a way to make provisions when necessary. And at least with my own place I can blow up a bed or do something in the interum if he decides to come. It’s the not knowing what happens next and trying to plan for these things that makes me crazy.

Meanwhile, I’m so thankful for Stefanie and Dave. These two don’t just give me lip service but both have sent apartments to me over the last 2 days.

I feel inspired and no longer alone when I talk to Stefanie. She has so many parellels to my own life and I feel truly seen and heard when we speak. It’s a feeling that I haven’t had in a very long time.

I love so many things right now that I see presenting themselves to me and I don’t know what the next move is but I trust God to keep leading me and guiding me.

I want my son to be ok whatever that path is and I want to be here if God assigns me to be part of that process. I want to be ok too. Joy. Love. Purpose.

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To Write the Truth

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The last 24 hours have been quite amazing and as I begin this post, I am compelled to write what I have just scribbled onto a notebook pad.

“Write the truth and the whole truth.. My Blessings & My Fury”. – Said the Lord to me.

“I promise and say yes to documenting everything you do with every person, client, transaction and every story.” – I responded.

Then I wrote $200. This is a number that sent me into a night of suicide by death when I was 17 years old as I’d worked to collect this amount to help a friend who I found out was in jail – my teenage crush. This was also the number I received when I sold a video console to in Miami to a young aspiring film-maker who had just received an offer to film a documentary for a man who was going to build a restaurant franchise from nothing in a 90 day window.

I’ve never liked speaking what I consider to be bad. I don’t like lying, manipulation, murder, bullying or horrible acts that people commit upon one another. I specifically don’t like talking about the bad things people have done to me; when I’ve been lied to or hurt in some way. But today I understand as I woke up and felt the desire to pull a devotional from the Bible which led me to Ezekiel 7.9; that when God calls someone to speak truth, this calling isn’t about what the person with the pen in her hand wants to write. It’s about acting as a court reporter in a room who doesn’t think about what is taking place but only reports all that is said and witnessed. As the “inkhorn” who walked next to the man in white linen, (Jesus Christ), I accept the assignment today to report all that I witness from this day forward.

So let’s start here. August 29th, 2025

This morning I had my coffee, did my devotional and found Ezekiel 7:9 which speaks about a very troubling time in Jerusalem. God shows Ezekiel the hearts and prayers unspoken by the Priests (horrible abominations), he shows him the buying and selling of goods that are alive, (I knew it was the selling of women and children) and he shows him the women weeping, (I knew it was the widows). By the way, God showed me that widows means any woman who’s lost her husband by death or who has been put away by him in divorce; discarded as if unto death.

Then Roger called me; my friend from Houston who opened a business using the vision I was given in 2020 to create Armored Real Estate (after the scriptures that speak of the armor of God). We talked about these things and in that discussion I saw the two doorways that are not open yet. Let me elaborate on this for a moment.

Today, I live in a room I rent from a script writer in Woodland Hills California. I work as a flight attendant and live paycheck to paycheck. I’ve lost everything that I once called my blessings. I cared for a husband in his health crisis and then he divorced me 3 years after his accident. I lost my son in the divorce, who was only a few weeks short of 18 and wanted to go with his dad because he said I was too strict and didn’t let him have any fun. My daughter stayed with me as I moved around the country in a horrible dark place of mourning and then she moved on in March of 2025 to get her own place in Florida as I was relocated the very next day to LA on my job.

If I were to be honest about my life today, I’d tell you a parable about a beautiful house that burned down and nothing was left but the ashes as memories of what once was full of love, laughter, success and joy. Through my times of need I’ve been rejected by family, friends, church connections and even my own children in ways that are so heartbreaking it’s hard to speak it. I only have left myself, this laptop and a few friends who check on me now and then. So I’m certainly not in a position that anyone in their right mind would wish for or aspire to achieve. Not today anyway.

By the way, God wants me to point out that Fury is an angel part of his wrath – tied to the message I left above in the command to speak of his blessings and his Fury.

I have a man messaging me now about a room near the ocean he has for rent. He wanted $1,800 and came back at $1,600 but he wants a deposit of $1,600, which I don’t have. Also I’d need to buy furniture if I moved there. I told him I can only do a couple of hundred dollars deposit. Meanwhile yesterday a woman told me she has a bed and nightstands I could have if needed (she’s a woman I met on a plane about a year ago).

Also, a marketing man with a merch business messaged me earlier asking how much money I’d need to take a job with him selling for his company. I told him I’d need $95,000 to start with a draw and commission payment plan as I learned.

And finally, Roger is having health issues and says he’s stressed and needs to take a step back on some things. He might have a project for me or work arrangement.

I’m going to control none of this and let God do what he wants with all these pieces. After all, I’m saying yes to being the witness and writer – not the author of all that happens from this point forward.

I’m excited to see what God does with this today.

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Cinderella

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Today, I do believe I’m Cinderella. And just like Cinderella, when her mother and her father passed away, it was the wicked stepsisters who tried to destroy her and make her a slave. And I’m also Rose in the Titanic. Everyone that the Council has shown to me is a script from my life.

Now I’m free from her. And maybe I don’t know who my prince is yet or who my Jack is, but I do know that I’m not her prisoner anymore. I pray in God’s timing my dog comes back to me. But otherwise, I never wish to see her or speak to her again.

My prayer now is to become what I was meant to become – Skyla. As shown to me by Marilynn Monroe and my father taking me to the headquarters of baywatch yesterday. Maybe I don’t know how I’ll get there just yet. But I can walk in faith and prepare my body and my mind for the next step. I want to be a big star. I want to be on TV. I want to be the icon that young girls see and they read my story and know that being casted out, unwanted and treated horribly by the parents or family members that were supposed to love you isn’t a curse its a crossroad that and we were made to rise from the ashes.

I pray that God takes every word she’s ever spoken over me in hate, jealousy and control and makes those words the ones he uses to slingshot me to the top.

She said no one likes me. I pray God makes me the most likable personality on TV.

She said my Granny is disappointed in me. I pray the angels make known their rejoicing over what I become now.

She said I’m a disgrace to my family name when I wear a swimsuit. I pray that I wear a swimsuit and everyone in my family watches me on screen saying to everyone they know, “yeah, we’re related to that beautiful being right there. That’s my genes!”

She said I’m a loser, a slob and I’ll end up homeless like her sister. I pray that I end up with maids, a star on Hollywood boardwalk with my name on it showing that I WON and I pray that I have the biggest mansion money can buy right here in paradise.

She said I’m a victim. I pray that I play a character in a movie that’s so iconic for women warriors that a sword is sold in major department stores with my name on it.

She said I’m jealous of her and Jim. I pray that I live inside of a love story in the public eyes that the entire world looks upon and says, “That’s what I want. That’s true love. That’s what I’m praying to one day find.”

Every year for Christmas… I’ll send her an autographed photo of me with an apology letter for not setting the alarm on her front door. I’ll say I’m glad your wall memorabilia worth $80k wasn’t stolen and I’ll tell her to enjoy all of her jewels.

God says he will set a table for me with those who have persecuted me and hurt me. He will cause them to come worship at my feet. I believe this, I receive this. I wait for instructions and doors to open. I speak it and I believe it. I will be a famous, iconic actress – a household name loved in every home. I will be known as the beautiful girl with a great sense of humor who is everyone’s favorite daughter.

Lord help me climb out of her shadow and set my mind, my heart and my spirit to BECOMING SKYLA.

In Jesus’ name…

Amen.

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