The Word as the Way

This morning my son called me very upset. He woke up early this morning because my mother said she’d take him to the DMV to get his expired license renewed so that he could start a job he’s been trying to start for nearly 3 weeks now. She apparently logged into the DMV to search his drivers license and discovered that his license isn’t eligible because he still has an outstanding citation in the system.

She then became frustrated with him over the phone telling him that he and his father have made stupid decisions and went on a rant about my ex-husband’s character and life history. “I’m not in a good place to be screamed at mom. I just want someone to help me get my life together,” my son said with desperation in his voice.

Of everyone in my bloodline, I’m the least equipped to help him or anyone this morning. I have very little money in my bank account, just got off of a 3-day excruciating trip traveling in a high-pressured airplane in my peanut wage job as a flight attendant and I’m 1,500 miles away from their world. I can’t drive him to the DMV and if I complete the outstanding traffic ticket payments (in excess of $800) it’s likely I would be putting myself in a jam in trying to pay my own bills this month. Plus, I haven’t worked good trips lately so the money on recent paychecks has been very low.

As I opened my laptop and sprung into action trying to research the tickets online and put together a plan to help him I sensed his voice changing on the other end of the line. He began softening and calming down in recovery from the intense exchange my mother had with him. He put me on speaker phone with his father and I instructed them to go to the courthouse and ask the judge for a reduced ticket or payment plan. His father argued, “I have no gas in the truck.” I asked him, “If I give you gas, you’ll take him right now?” He assured me he would do it.

So I hung up the phone and the Holy Spirit; God’s voice that speaks truth within started talking to me about faith. What is faith?

Faith is ACTION.

I could see the faces and voices flashing through my mind of people who have crossed my path through this long season of wilderness I’ve been walking, telling me things I want to hear. They give me compliments, encouragement, advice, flattery and even speak strong words like, “I love you.” But the evidence of that love I can’t find in my memories as these scences flashed through my thoughts.

Then this inner voice spoke to me a scripture from my memory. “For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7. I can’t think of a single situation that was ever solved by someone giving me a compliment or telling me, “I love you.” Granted, my flesh loves to hear those things. When words of positive affirmation touch the ears it sends signals to the brain that reduces feel good chemicals and that certainly helps an emotional state of crisis in the moment. But it doesn’t last. As soon a the moment begins to fade away the weight of reality in the situations that are causing the internal storm begins to settle back in and I’m no better off than I was when the day started.

In the healings and encounters of Jesus recorded in the Bible I can’t think of one where he met someone and started telling that person, “You’re beautiful, you’re smart, you’re going to be alright. You’re strong. I believe in you. I love you.” He had instead another phrase he spoke repeatedly. “Take up your bed and walk.” Likewise he often told people, “Go you way and sin no more.” I don’t know if the word “sin” needs any other explanation than to just say, “Do things differently than you did to get yourself in this mess.”

But when he found people in a mess – he ACTED to help them. He got them unstuck from their situation and enabled them to get back to life again.

My son doesn’t need to talk anymore. He doesn’t need another lecture or a logline from a movie of inspirational speech and words of encouragement. He needs someone to help him get out of a rut. He needs action.

For so long I’ve been asking God to show me my purpose and I see that the same things keep presenting (my son needing help) as if I’m being granted another chance over and over again to see that my purpose has been standing in front of me crying for help this entire time. I’ve tried to help. I’ve done everything I know to do. And nothing has worked but who am I to stop trying? Everytime I pray for him God does something. He changes something. He moves something. He gives me hope. And that’s the only thing that’s kept me going at all if I’m being honest. Those little miracles mean the world to me.

Today I’m asking for God to make a way for him to clear his tickets once and for all and to lift that heaviness off of this young man today where every cell in his body screams the word, “freedom”. He won’t have to watch his back or worry he might get pulled over. And I hope it impacts him in a way that he learns to not let it get this bad again with not responding to tickets. But more-over I hope he believes that he is loved because love acted in faith (action) and God was the power and sound mind that worked through me today to look at a bank account not in fear but in belief that God will provide according to my needs to bless this boy and give him hope and a future.

Next week I interview in Houston for what could be a big job and a promising new chapter to my life. I hope to take with me a powerful seed of the lessons I’ve learned in understanding the tricks of the enemy and the alluring spirit that brought me to LA. The temptations of this world made a strong case and I have battled through years of tears and confusion. I do not with to gain the world and lose my soul and only by His Grace and Mercy will I escape this season with a spirit of a sound mind and power.

I pray for a joyous reunion with the ones I love this year and a Christmas I will never forget.

Dear Heavenly Father… Thank you. Thank you for clarity. Thank you for your love and help. Thank you that you’re making a way where there is no way and you’re opening doors for my son to be a testimony of your power.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

It’s 9:37 and I’m walking in faith to “do what must be done.” – Chad Hymas