Waiting in Limbo

I feel like I’m in limbo right now waiting on others to make choices so that I can make mine. My son is trying to get his license and job situation on Monday. That’s tomorrow. I feel like I need to put a deadline on what transpires next and maybe the best way to go about it is simply to make a choice for now, rather than for tomorrow’s what if’s that may never happen.

If he doesn’t come, I’d rather get a studio or one bedroom so that I’m not paying unnecessary rent. I guess I could always get out of that or transfer to a 2 bedroom if needed. I’m sure there’s a way to make provisions when necessary. And at least with my own place I can blow up a bed or do something in the interum if he decides to come. It’s the not knowing what happens next and trying to plan for these things that makes me crazy.

Meanwhile, I’m so thankful for Stefanie and Dave. These two don’t just give me lip service but both have sent apartments to me over the last 2 days.

I feel inspired and no longer alone when I talk to Stefanie. She has so many parellels to my own life and I feel truly seen and heard when we speak. It’s a feeling that I haven’t had in a very long time.

I love so many things right now that I see presenting themselves to me and I don’t know what the next move is but I trust God to keep leading me and guiding me.

I want my son to be ok whatever that path is and I want to be here if God assigns me to be part of that process. I want to be ok too. Joy. Love. Purpose.